Pretty quickly, things in this family go from hectic, to fun, to nitemarish. This is one of those instances and is pretty much the story of my life…
The nite before last, my wife was attending a birth as a doula. That is after getting off of work at her full time job.. The kids and I spent most of the day driving around doing errands. While she was finishing up at job number one her client went into full labor and we had to drive straight out to Dekalb so she could get there in time. The kids and I dropped her off and then drove all the way back home where we had a sleep over in the living room waiting for the call that the baby was here and we could get Mom. This was the best part of my day.
When we got that call is where it gets a little more crazy. Once we picked her up the next morning we had to book it straight back to her other job. We dropped her off, had lunch at McDonald’s and then, since I was sick of driving, we decided to spend the day at Woodfield Mall. We had a blast browsing at the Disney store and mostly they played on the giant foam Looney Tunes playground. By the way, i have apparently neglected to include Looney Tunes in their learning experience and had to give my daughter a crash course on who’s who. Oops. We rounded out the day by picking up my wife and getting hot dogs at the local hot dog joint down the street from home. It was a pretty great day…
It was, that is, until the kids went to wash up after dinner while Katie and I tried to talk and catch up with each other. My 4yo daughter went to go wash her hands after eating and her almost 2yo brother decided to trot in after her. Pushing happened over who got to use the sink and then we here the door slam shut. And click. Our daughter is standing outside the bathroom, our son inside. He had just locked himself into the bathroom. Shit just got real.
Little side note: We live in a pretty old building and the doors aren’t those (now in my opinion) awesome new doors where you can take a screw driver and unlock it from the outside. No this is a serious deadbolt, only locks from the inside, honest to gods nitemare.
We took turns trying to coax him into unlocking it, which at first he was laughing about. At one point our daughter even shoved us out of he way because, “he only listens to me and does everything I tell him to do”. Not this time. Then after twenty minutes of that not working, panic set in for all parties. He was sobbing because Mom and Dad couldn’t save him. Our daughter was freaking out, and frankly so were we. We tried taking off the door knob to see if we could somehow reach the lock. Nope, now we just had a locked door with no knob. We tried kicking it in like in the movies. Nope. Stupid old solid door… Eventually I threw in the towel and called 911. The dispatcher tried her best to calm me down and told me the fire department was on the way. Fire truck and all.
They got there and tried a few things until they ended up using this ratchet bar thing that stretched the door frame enough to pry the door open. He was finally out. Soaked from head to toe in sweat and tears. The lieutenant fireman told our son that he should come outside where he got to see their truck and was awarded a junior firefighter hat and badge. And that’s the story of my life.
Recommended track list:
Social Distortion: Story of my life
Operation Ivy: Room Without a Window
Minor Threat: Screaming at a Wall
The Replacements: Kick Your Door Down
Stiff Little Fingers: State of Emergency