This last weekend we were all pretty sick with some horrible fever inducing, evil flu/cold/demonic possession. It was not a fun couple of days. Sunday, everyone was feeling well enough to go out for a bit to get fresh air… Who am I kidding, Strongo and Existentialisa were beating the crap out of each other and needed to go do something. We let them play for a couple of hours at an indoor mall playground and then called it quits after we all started wearing out. Went home and mom decided to go pick up donuts to make our triumphant return to regular life Monday a success. She came back with donuts and news that she had been rear ended on the way home. Strike 2.
So this morning… This fucking morning… So we’re on time, everyone has eaten AND the grownups actually had time for coffee (!!!!!) and we’re heading out the door. Strongo goes downtown the stairs, trips on the last step and Bam! smacks his mouth on the banister! No big deal, right?
WRONG.
I run him back up and see that he’s bleeding a little.. But, wait, what is that stuck between his teeth?? Is that? Yes, he has his frenulum stuck in the gap between his two front teeth. Godsdamnit. Strangest injury ever.
Existentialisa goes to school, the rest of go to the local emergency room. The nurse practitioner tries to pull it through. Just makes him scream and it’s not going anywhere. She calls for a second opinion from the doctor. Comes back with the doctor’s idea to try and push his gap a little further open and nurse his frenulum through. Nope. More screaming. Still stuck. The doctor comes in. Why wouldn’t he? This is seriously weird and everyone want to see. He gives it a go and ends up getting bit. Good call son, no one blames you. Then we get a transfer to the Children’s hospital in the city. There they can get it unstuck, we are assured. They’ll know what to do.
Have I mentioned that we are at three hours already?
We pick up big sister at school and head to the city. Here’s a tip though: if you are going to the hospital that everyone still refers to as “Children’s Memorial Hospital” don’t plug that into Apple Maps. It sends to the the now shit down creepy boarded up building that they used to be in. It’s now the Lurie Children’s Hospital. You’re welcome. Jerks.
We get checked in there and the med student comes in and does intake, which is fine since my wife and I are both grad students and are very supportive of this sort of thing. The doc come in, and takes a look. They’re impressed. She makes some calls. The med student checks back in a few times. We are almost done watching Return to Neverland. Then the doc comes back in with news from their dentist. Course of action? Let’s see if he can eat and drink with it as is and if he can, let’s just watch it for a couple of days and see if it fixes itself after the swelling comes down. If it doesn’t, go see the dentist at the hospital.
And that, my friends, is how I spent my Monday in 2 ERs and am going to be staying up all nite catching up on schoolwork. Mondays…
Post-Punk Parenthood 